I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
did i walk over a car last night?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize
