he puts the penis in happiness.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
