bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
