My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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