my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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