Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
My dad just said "fuck circus"
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
