If that was your dad, he is hot
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
