is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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