i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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