Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize