Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
