i was born a porn star she said
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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