why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
