Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
