Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
