tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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