I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
