I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
