I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
