i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
A bitchslap is in order.
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