All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
