I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Maybe he injected his testicle?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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