You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
