There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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