can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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