So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
