Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize