So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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