Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize