Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
