he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
