Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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