I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
