I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
