Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
