I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
if only i could text you this smell
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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