Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
