Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
