I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
