kristin has been a bad kristin
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
