Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
