he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
