so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
