Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
