I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Randomize
