Ambien. No doubt about it.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I wish I only lived at night.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Randomize
