Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
