based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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