So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
