I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
