I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
