I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I just gargled with NyQuil
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
