I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize