Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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