we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
