Where is the hickey?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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