so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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