Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
You're breaking my sexual little heart
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
