Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
