Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
