i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
