Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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