My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
