I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
