Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
