everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Actions speak louder than pants.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
