nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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