it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
