are you still at the devil's house?
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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