Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
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