dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
